Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
