Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
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