you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
