Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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