the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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