just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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