I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
