they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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