I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
