do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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