The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
