Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
