I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize