Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
