Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
