i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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