I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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