the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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