I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
3pm strippers are depressing
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Randomize
