are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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