did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
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