who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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