what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
