She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
