MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I need moral support for this bender
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
