Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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