Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
