Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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