We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize