I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
