we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
