his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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