I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Shame - the story of my life.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
