we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
