dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
