I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
