I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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