I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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