saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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