she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Randomize
