Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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