She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
All the doctor said was why
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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