Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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