I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
