I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
