Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
