she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
