I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
