Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
my shit smells like andre
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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