So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize