Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
