This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
