You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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