he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize