My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
