i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
