The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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