I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
