I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize