The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I have post one night stand depression
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
