She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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