How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
