how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
