You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
