with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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