stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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