Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
