I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So vagazzling was a success
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
