I didn't shave. On purpose
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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