WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
