i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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