Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
