I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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