Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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