i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
