Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
