Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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