glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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