i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
