we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
