Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
