Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
