i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
